“Growth is uncomfortable because you’ve never been here before. You’ve never seen this version of you. So give yourself a little grace and breathe through it.” ~Kristin Lohr
It was like I kinda showed up.
Outside, I looked as though I was performing all of my tasks. Smile. It was about eating right and exercising. I was posting happy, positive vibe quotes, but I wasn’t really showing up for myself.
Thirteen weeks ago, I was pregnant with my second child. This was to have been the safe zone. Family and friends were already informed. We even had the names in mind. This was our fourth baby, and we thought that I was an expert.
I worked in an unhealthy environment but kept my cool. Even after my miscarriage, I felt I had to be back there quickly so others didn’t need to deal with my responsibilities.
After this experience, I was able to spend a lot of time being very serious about my health and well-being. But let’s be honest, I pretended for years. I was hearing “Take care of YOU!” on repeat. While it may have been well-intentioned, I was completely clueless about how to accomplish that. No one told me how I should take care of my own health.
Everything I needed to know about the Should be suppose-toS. I was overwhelmed with these concepts and added them all on to my to-do lists. While I was aware that I needed to eat well and exercise, I didn’t know what I would do with the negative thoughts about not being enough. It was overwhelming, and I simply smiled.
As I assumed greater responsibility, I wore many hats and it seemed that I was capable of doing it all. It was actually a sign of stress that I had to let out through an irritating eye tick.
People noticed my tiredness and I made up an excuse that it was because of this. It was my excuse, and I believed it. I wasn’t sleeping well. In between healthy meals, I was eating junk food. Although I moved on occasion, it was not a consistent basis. I kept smiling, making excuses, pretending that all was well.
One morning, I realized that I couldn’t keep doing this. I opened my eyes and accepted that I was only kinda sorta showing up for myself and that I couldn’t keep sustaining this lifestyle without causing irreversible damage to those I loved and to myself. So I said the scariest words: “No, sorry. I can’t.”
Although I confess, these were the first words that I spoke aloud to myself. Then, I did something remarkable: I started to say these words out loud to people.
At first, this was limited to my immediate circle. Then it began spreading out. It was about taking back my power. My exit strategy for my toxic workplace environment was what I was referring to. Talking about my miscarriage actually hit me very hard. I was rocked to the core by it.
My feelings were openly shared. It was okay to let my feelings out. It was a process of shifting. I was becoming a new woman—a similar version to the happy and healthy woman I once was. Emotional. It was terrifying. But it was well worth the effort. It was a long process that required a lot more work. It’s still evolving. It’s still evolving in many aspects.
My mantra was: Be confident in your own future. That sounds like it should be easy to do, but it’s tough for most people. You are likely afraid of changing. All of us are. It might seem difficult to accept that you have to change.
We humans want to be right. We don’t want to admit a choice we made was the wrong one. Although there may be second thoughts, and red flags popping up everywhere we look, it is still hard to accept that our mistake. So we stick with what we’re doing even if it feels wrong.
I have a little secret to tell you: The most successful people are the ones who push through the fear of change and do it anyway—even if it’s hard on their pride. This is possible. It will be messy in the middle, but you’ll get through it. You can make changes if self-doubt starts to creep in. Here are the steps.
1. Change your mindset
To be successful, you must have faith in yourself. Whatever your goal, success must be something you believe in and a possibility.
For example, if you want to move your muscles more through exercise, start your morning off with the mantra of “I am making my health a priority. I will move my muscles today.” Start acting like someone who exercises. You should make decisions as if you are a regular walker. It’s important to schedule it. Have a conversation about it.
If you want to be happier and healthier, use these I am statements to help get you there: “I am enough.” “I am worthy of happiness every day!” Many people say they want to feel happier but don’t believe they deserve it, so they end up sabotaging themselves. These statements can be spoken out loud. Note them. Determine the source of your traumas.
Your choices and your path will be aligned with your new mindset once you have changed your mind. Your goals will be achieved or you’ll make some progress towards them. It is possible to experience imposter Syndrome along the journey. Keep moving. Talking back is an important part of mindset shifting. Have a conversation. You will achieve the goals you set out for if you are confident.
2. A strategy
Your success roadmap is the second step in your journey. It is not enough to wish for the best. Work is hard..
If you’ve shifted your mindset, now you need to travel the miles to get where you want to go. What are the steps to achieve this goal? You need to set realistic goals. Plan. Keep to the plan. You’ll need guidance along the way. Surround yourself with people who are doing what you’d like to do. Take the time to listen to those who’ve been on this journey before. To stay accountable, ask for assistance.
Don’t assume this is an easy way to travel. Many things are hard work. Be prepared for roadblocks, but keep pushing past them.
You must realize that your existing circle may not be willing to make the changes you want. On a personal level, change is frightening. When others change around you, it’s frightening if you aren’t shifting alongside them. Sometimes, positive ripple effects will be created by your changes for the people closest to you. However, this will only happen if it is timed correctly.
Your future self is waiting to meet you—you just need to get moving. You can make it through the darkest days. Even a large one can be made to change.
Once you are on the other side, you’ll wonder why it took you so long to get there. You’ll be happier. You’ll be healthier. You’ll be asked by others how it happened. Keep going after you take that first step. I promise you it’s better on the other side.
Kate McCauley is a certified health coach who can provide guidance for your individual journey. Danu, LLC was founded by Kate McCauley. Kate has 20 years experience in education and can help you navigate your way with love, honesty, and an open mind. Schedule your free consult call today at www.shop.danunow.com. On Instagram and Facebook, you can find her.
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The post When You’re Ready for Change: You Need to Believe in Your Future Self appeared first on Tiny Buddha.