As I laid on the ground, my side felt cold against the marble tile. Some part of my mind nudged me to get to the couch, but I couldn’t. It was irrelevant.
Tears kept flowing as my moans of “Why? Why? Why?” echoed through the room. I continued to sob and whine despite my discomfort. A common side effect to crying so loud was my tendency to cough up and gag every now and again.
Within ten minutes I was able to see clearly and feel the energy necessary for me to rise. I washed my eyes, dried my tears and took several deep breathes. Each one felt ragged and shakey.
This moment was similar in many other instances over the previous two years. The intensity had decreased, possibly due to therapy or just the passing of years. The deep sadness that I felt would return and take me to the ground, was something I did not expect.
This kind of loss happens to most people at one time or another. My loss was caused by a close and dearly loved family member who told me that they would never talk to me again, and wanted me to leave their lives.
Deeply rooted feelings of insecurity from a childhood filled with physical and emotional abuse rose to the surface (that’s a story for another time), compounding my feelings of wretchedness, unworthiness, and loss.
As I said, the time passed and a wonderful estrangement counselor had helped to ease some of my pain. I gravitated to therapy because I have my master’s and part of my PhD in Psychology. Through cognitive behavioral, narrative and art therapy, my clients experienced relief and healing. It was a great experience to talk with my experienced and skilled therapist.
However, my feeling of being unstable was constant. It was like walking on a balance beam. Although you get more comfortable with it, the stability of walking on firm ground is not possible. My emotions needed to be on firm ground.
For eight years, I used Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), as my main healthcare method. Some of the severe sadness was alleviated by acupuncture and herbal remedies. After this period of crying and waterworks I realized I wanted to know more about TCM. My life changed forever when I started to do research.
TCM states that imbalanced emotions can lead to mental illness and disease. Every organ corresponds to one pair of emotions. When they are balanced, you can let go of any unbalanced emotions.
- Lungs: Balance = dignity, courage, and integrity; Imbalanced = grief, loss, or sorrow
- Kidneys: Balance = inner confidence and self-confidence.
- Liver: Unbalanced = Anger, Frustration, Impatience. Balanced = Kindness and Compassion
- Heart: Unbalanced = excessive joy and nervousness; balanced = joy and contentment.
- Spleen: Unbalanced = Overthinking, Obsessiveness and Worry; Balanced = Trust and Openness
A significant change in my perception of emotions occurred. It was clear to me how my mental state affected or helped my body.
My research showed that people are capable of balancing their feelings.
Qigong is one of the best tools for this purpose.
Two Chinese characters comprise qigong: qi 气and gong 功. Qi can be roughly translated to energy, or life force. It’s more complicated than that, but that imagery works for this discussion. Gong means work or skill. Qigong, therefore, is the ability to work with energy.
Qigong originated from primitive people’s efforts to nurture their health. Actually, the colored ceramic basin was discovered in 1957 by archaeologists who excavated burials more than 5,000 years old. It featured a figure performing various qigong movements.
The ancient Chinese Qigong also had the same name tunaAdjustment of the breathing daoyinMoving the body, and breath. zuochanOr (sitting down in meditation). Neighbor (internal exercise). These translations stress the importance to breathe and use your mind while doing qigong.
Qigong is a skill that combines the physical and mental functions of the body, breath, and mind. You can adjust the yin/yang balance of your body by integrating these elements to reverse or prevent mental illness.
It is important to keep in mind that you must practice, as with all other skills.
While I was living in Shanghai (China) at the time, I began qigong classes near my house. At the time I wasn’t immersed in the theory, just the movements. This practice gave me a feeling of relief. I didn’t feel on the verge of falling off the balance beam at any given moment.
The foundation was still shaky. To further my knowledge, I delved deeper into the medical aspects of qigong and obtained my certification as a qigong instructor. As tools to balance emotions, sounds, colors and finger mudras were discovered as healing methods.
As you can see, sadness and sorrow are closely linked to my lungs. The lungs tie to the metal element, the season of fall, the color white, and the emotional healing sound “ssss.” The annual respiratory illnesses each autumn, the anniversary of the estrangement, finally made sense.
A medical qigong idea I also found confirmed that my initial desire to cry was a function.
My study of Qigong has taught me how feeling and expressing emotions can help clear stagnant energy to allow the body to regain its balance. For instance, there is an expression of long-term physical ailments being caused by “unshed tears.” Puffiness under the eyes is one symptom of this sub-health condition. It is an essential part of healing that we can cry when needed, and I know I did a lot.
However, this can slow down recovery. Qigong helps focus the mind, and releases the unbalanced emotions. Qigong helps you to balance your energy and makes it return to nature for recycling.
Natura is the most effective tool for Qigong practice.
Practitioners of Qigong learn to collect qi from water, plants, soil, rocks, oceans and rivers. They also learn to make use of this qi to repair, regenerate, and rebuild. You might have seen the plethora of new “forest bathing” books in bookstores. The healing power of nature is evident in this modality, which has the same roots as Qigong.
The present moment is what you focus on, immersing yourself in the sensations and breath around.
As I’ve practiced and applied the curative tools of qigong, my literal and figurate feet are planted on the ground. Instead of being balancing on a beam of wooden wood, I feel the flows and changes of life as if it were a tree. My roots reach deep down into the earth, providing a firm foundation. The trunk provides stability and support. Because of this foundation, I can let my leaves and branches move in the wind. While the tree is strong and stable, it still lives and breathes.
I have experienced extreme happiness with the birth of my grandson and brokenheartedness due to my continued estrangement. To regain my balance, I employ the tools and mentality of Qigong. Each emotion has taught me lessons that I can use to bring myself back into the center of the universe, grounded in the moment and nature.
Now, I am not prone to falling on the floor. When I am thinking about my estrangement, the subtle energie shifts occur and they nudging me instead of assailing.
It is possible to pass on the knowledge of qigong and emotional healing to others. This experience can be a great gift.
Your body is eager to work with you in order to balance and heal your emotions. You now have an additional tool in your arsenal for emotional wellness, whether you are working with me or another skilled Qigong practitioner.
About Dr. Juli Kramer
Dr. Julikramer is certified in qigong, meditation and TCM beauty tricks instructor. A diploma in Chinese Medicine Nutritional Treatment and numerous certificates in Chinese Medicine and Face Reading are her qualifications. Juli holds a PhD in Curriculum Counseling Psychology. Radiant Shenti is Juli’s online teaching platform. Juli, along with other instructors, offers instruction via a private video library. They also incorporate nutrition, gua sha meditation, yoga and reiki into their lessons. Juli also teaches at Insight Timer and AARP.
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Emotionally Imbalanced? Tiny Buddha’s first article, How Qijong Helps You Heal Your Body and Mind appeared on Tiny Buddha.