“Happiness is like being cool, the harder you try, the less it is going to happen. Don’t give up. Start living” ~ Mark Manson
My life is full of blessings. My family was able to survive this insane pandemic. My husband has been out of work for half of a year and my son’s school has been closed. I do have a job, however, that allows me to support my family.
I am grateful.
Every day after dealing with crazy deadlines and pressure at work, I go home and see my son’s sweet, cute face.
I am happy. At least I ought to be. It should be around him, so he feels it. This will help him grow up happy.
But sometimes, I’m tired. I’m tired of trying or pretending to feel happy when the weight of the whole world is on my shoulders, and I have to push every single second in my life to make it.
Sometimes I feel sad and alone when it is dark at night outside so I have to get up earlier than usual to make my coffee. Sometimes, when I make my coffee, it makes me cry.
That’s when I feel the burden of feeling happy.
You can’t believe that being happy is a burden. Yet, it happens. And all day long we’re bombarded with ideas to be happier and reminders that other people already are.
How often do you surf the internet or scroll down on your Facebook, TikTok, or whatever app and see all of the so-called tips and tricks for a better body, a better salary… a better life?
These types of life hacks can be found for as little as ten cents. Some of these life hacks are great, while others are not so good. People just think up most things.
Even though we might already know many of them, if not all, if we don’t go through them, what do we feel?
It makes us feel uneasy. We should be able to observe them and learn from them. We can all be more. And happier.
What if you’re sitting at your TV, eating chocolate and are watching TV, when a commercial plays for a new exercise or diet? You feel like a complete idiot.
Or how about when you scroll through your high school friends’ social media pages, and they seem to “have it all.” They talk about their healthy lifestyle, their new business, all the travel they’re doing, and you just feel like a complete loser.
Fear of missing out can be the true deal. The invisible competition is between yourself and others.
Always be afraid
Even when everything is moving in one direction and you are traveling the opposite. But we don’t have to be happy all the time. And we don’t need beat ourselves up for feeling down.
If you’re also feeling the burden of happiness, these ideas might help. (More tips and tricks, I know—but hopefully these ones won’t leave you feeling bad or guilty!)
Here are 5 easy ways to let go of your burden of feeling happy
1. Don’t set unreasonable goals or hold yourself up to ridiculously high standards.
Many people believe they have to do things constantly in order to help others and achieve the happiness and success that we desire.
Here’s the harsh truth…
There are no super-powered robots who can save the world or be superheroes. We don’t have superpowers or special magic that can get things done in a snap of our fingers.
Some days are easy and we are able to do everything, while others are difficult.
And it is completely okay to say “f*ck it” for a day or two.
We don’t have to “save the day” all the time, it is okay to be saved too.
Stop setting unreasonable goals or holding yourself up to ridiculous standards. It’s okay to want to accomplish things, but when you lay down those SMART goals and create your daily to-do lists, remember to give yourself some space to breathe too.
2. You need to rethink the daily task list.
This is not the one that you use to remind your self of the most important things. This is the list of things that you have to do, and then there’s no time to rest or enjoy some coffee. There is no point keeping a list of things that you know you won’t be able to complete. But we do it because we think we should happily go, go, go—be it all, do it all, and do it with a smile.
Call me crazy, but there are days I am so busy that I don’t have time to go to the restroom. And I don’t drink any water on those days.
Tell your boss if you are asked by your boss at the end the day to complete a report for the following morning.
Don’t say, “Whatever Please enter your email address need!” Ask yourself what you need instead, especially on days when you’re not feeling your best.
3. You should be honest about your feelings
I am always envious as hell when I see some of my high school friends’ Facebook pages. Although they may seem to know everything, I still struggle and try again.
I would try to forget about those feelings by telling myself that I was focusing on what I had. The feelings were there. They don’t go away. Und you are familiar with the consequences of burying feelings.
I am now able to freely admit my feelings. I envy people. I get sad. Before speaking in any meeting, I feel scared. It makes me feel more confident.
On some days, I attend meetings. I confess to everyone that I am anxious. Surprisingly though, many of those meetings go smoothly.
If you don’t know how to be honest about your true emotions, I highly recommend journaling. You can gradually let go of your inhibitions and open up to your thoughts.
4. Get back to the core.
Sometimes we are so lost in finding happiness that we forget what it really means—to us personally.
Consider why you are doing what you are doing. Is it just about money and responsibility, or is it also about taking care of your loved ones and feeling like you’re making a difference?
Answer those questions, and when you’re aware that you are going against your core, lovingly turn back. Don’t judge. Remind yourself that it’s okay if you don’t feel happy in your daily grind because there’s a greater purpose behind everything you do.
5. Don’t compare
You are the only person you can be. Your best effort is to make the most of the time. No one has gone through what you’ve gone through, no one has done what you’ve done, so no one will understand.
And the good thing is, you don’t need anyone to understand because you don’t need their approval.
The same thing applies to everyone else. You don’t know what they’ve been through. You don’t have to secretly desire for your life to be the same as theirs.
And remember you don’t have to be the best at everything you do. If you are not a super mom, it’s fine. I’m not mother of the year, but my son is completely cool with it. He still needs to hug my blanket and smell my scent to take naps when I’m not home.
It can be so unfashionable to admit that you don’t always feel complete, content, happy, and at peace. But it’s okay if you don’t.
Your emotions aren’t wired. Fear, anxiety, worry, jealousy, anxiety, and other emotions are all normal. Yet, you’re still an incredible person.
Mai Pham proudly adores her little boy. Mai Pham is first-time mother and knows the stress of caring for a baby. Helping other mothers to relax, trust their instincts, and enjoy the moment is what she does. She runs Mommy Instinct, where she shares her journey, guides, tips, and things she uses to boost her parenting.
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Tiny Buddha’s post 5 Easy Tricks to Feel Happy: Let Go of the Hurdles appeared first on Tiny Buddha.